Orphaned

I am an orphan.

I haven't always been one.

Actually, I only became one a year and a half ago.

At that time I was battling the stigma of coming from a single parent household.

Okay, I hadn't lived at home for a long time, but I was still insecure around people who had two parents: more Christmas presents, 2 signatures on the birthday cards, a bit more choice when hitting someone up for money.

I was jealous.

Now I have to deal with this orphan business!

I don't know how my brothers and sisters are coping with this dilemma.

They are pretty tight-lipped on the subject.

I think they are in denial.

Maybe they have moved on.

Maybe it's a maturity thing: they are all older than me.

Maybe they have adjusted.

It's too early to start living life as an orphan.

I think I'm too old for an orphanage.

I don't think I am adoptable.

Everone is looking for a newborn: a bright faced bundle of joy.

or

A world-wise spunky kid: they've watched Annie too many times.

No one wants a 43 year old orphan.

Pushing Buttons

My life is filled with never-ending moments of button pushing.

There is always another button to push!

When I was a kid the only button I ever pushed was my Mother's!

Maybe you turned on the TV with a button, if you didn't have the switch type.

Everything had a switch!

Now, it's buttons on the TV remote, computer, air-conditioner, rice-cooker, hot-water thermos, laundry machine, bank machine, phone, blah, blah, blah, .......

The worst for me is: the heaters in my place.

No central heating, so I have kerosene heaters that need reassurance that I am still conscious every 2 hours.

The warning music is painful; the physical act of getting up and pushing those damn buttons makes me feel like a rat in one of those lab experiments.

If the heater gave me something when I pushed the button, other than heat, it would be better!

Maybe a peanut or two would be nice.

Wrestling Coathangers Again!

It's a sunny Saturday morning and I am listening to the steady dripping sound of snow melting off the roof.

I was just on my balcony hanging up a load of laundry: in Japan dryers are not very common.

14 shirts this week! it must be a record!!

I can't wait until my socks are done.

Stay tuned....

Oh Yah!

I wrestled with coat hangers too.

Sorry got sidetracked by the 14 shirt phenomenon.

No Belly Button

When I was born, the doctor stole my mother's belly button.

The doctor offered to remove the excess skin my mother had accumulated in the stomach area from pumping out so many kids.

In the bargain he removed her belly button as well.

To be fair, this was in pre-cosmetic surgery days; and my mother wasn't big on bikinis anyway.

I remember being called a liar in 1st grade by my doubting friends.

I dragged some of them back to my place after school and begged my mother to show her buttonless midriff to my friends.

She didn't.

But she did confirm my story as true.

It would have been better if she had shown it though.

Cheese Makes me Sweat

I like blue cheese. I like it a lot!

But when I eat it, it makes me sweat under the eyes.

Actually most strong cheese has the same effect on me.

When I mention this to people, 90% say this is impossible and accuse me of not knowing my own bodily functions.

But 10% say it also happens to them.

So.... does strong cheese make you sweat under the eyes?

Ear Cleaning

I had my ears cleaned a few weeks ago.

I usually do it myself with Q-tips or cotton buds or whatever other name those things go by.

But there was an ear cleaning place in the shopping centre I visited and I was curious.

All the staff had those hospital uniforms on. I like those.

I had to fill out a form with questions like:

Have you ever had ear problems?

Have you ever had your ears professionally cleaned?

When was the last time you cleaned your ears?

What kind of wax do you have? soft or hard?

And a few other similar ones.

They sat me in a nice space-aged chair, put a video camera in my ears and let me have a before look.

I got the after look when they finished: but it looked about the same to me.

The technician had a little wooden/plastic scraper with what looked like a little spoon on the end of it.

She dug and scraped one ear and then switched over and dug and scraped out the other ear.

It was all very relaxing.

After that she swabbed my ears with something and then gave me an ear massage for about 5 minutes. She gave me the vulcan mindmeld treatment (sorry, I used to be a STARTREK fan) hitting all the pressure points, if there are any; pulled my ears a bit too much; and then gave my ears another swab of something for good measure.

Overall it was very enjoyable, although a bit expensive.

They even gave me a point card!!!