Why an I-Pod is like a Penis

Everyone is always touching it,
playing with it,
checking to make sure it's still there,
adjusting it,
moving it around,
pulling it out to look at,
showing it to their friends,
and buying accessories for it.



Did I say penis?

I meant cell phone.

Battling Caterpillars

Last year I had a caterpillar invasion in my front yard bushes.
Big caterpillars: the size of my fingers!

I took my neighbour's advice: pull them off with chopsticks and step on them.

After a hard week of plucking and squishing caterpillars, I had eliminated about 500 of the big buggers.
Caterpillar guts and carcasses littered the ground.
It was a real mess.

I left a few alive, so hopefully I can do it again this year.

Fear

I'm not afraid of too many things.
I'm fine with heights, small spaces, spiders, and the dark.

I'm scared of monkeys.

More specifically, I'm afraid they will jump up and scratch my eyes out.

There are monkeys close to where I live in Japan.

As long as the monkeys or myself are in a cage, I'm fine.
"Haha, look at the funny monkeys. How cute."

But when there is no barrier between us, I don't think they are funny or cute anymore.

I knew a guy at University; 6'7" (about 2 meters tall) and big: fighting big!
He was afraid of toenails.
You could chase him around all day with a freshly clipped toenail.

Now that's a funny fear.

Unless they are monkey toenails.

Why Dr. Seuss isn't Popular in Japan

I think the Whos in Whoville are pretty upset with how he drew them too!