SpellCheck

I have a friend.
He's not a good speller.
He knows this.
When he writes something on his computer, he uses SpellCheck.

It doesn't seem to work.

When he sends me something, I can usually spot a few terribly mangled words.

I let him know that there are spelling errors.

He questions me.
"Are you sure? I used SpellCheck. Are you sure syphilis isn't spelt sifilus? I used SpellCheck."

I went to his house last week. We were looking at something on his computer. I noticed his SpellCheck button.
It said SpelCzech.

I guess he shouldn't have bought that cheap Mc N'Tosh computer.

I told him to buy the HooLit Picard, but he wouldn't listen!

Pregnant Women

As a rule, I don't find pregnant women sexy.

In most countries the women blimp out or wear big baggie maternity clothes. These are not on my sexy things list. The fact that they are lugging around another human inside of them, that I had nothing to do with, doesn't help either.

If life were a board game, then pregnant women would be sitting on the Miss a Turn square.
No one should be passing them the dice.

In Argentina, slim pregnant women in revealing clothes strolling along the streets made me question my long held opinion.
They looked pretty good flaunting their bellies, but still as a rule pregnant women aren't really sexy.

Two years ago while walking on a lonely beach in Brazil, there was a woman walking towards me. She was pushing a beach stroller with a kid in it.
A woman with a child can be sexy all she wants: it's in my rule book.

She had a nice body and a very small bikini. The closer she got the better she looked. Nicely tanned Yummy Mummy I was thinking, while unconsciously sucking in my stomach.
When we finally passed each other, I saw her profile.
She was about 8 months pregnant with a big round belly.

I need my depth perception checked.

She looked pretty good from the back as well.

She must have been an Argentine!