Wednesday, 16 April 2008

The Depressed Kangaroo


Before Johnny 23 hit the dead pig (see Johnny 23 Can't Drive), I had my own incident.

3 of us left Alice Springs, turned right at 3 Ways, and were making good time on our way to Cairns.
About 9pm we stopped at a service area, filled our tank, and had a hot meal in the restaurant populated by long haul truckers.
On the way out the door everyone stopped eating and stared at us.
"Mind the roos", advised the waitress.

We smiled, nodded, and left.
It felt like a scene out of American Werewolf in London.

I got behind the wheel. We were all laughing because we had yet to see a kangaroo on the drive from Alice Springs.

10 minutes down the road, the area was crawling with kangaroos: hundreds of them!
I slowed down for a few kilometres, and then gradually accelerated until we were barreling along at a steady 90 km/h.
Everything was fine until I noticed something in my peripheral vision flying towards the car from 15 meters away.

The kangaroo landed directly in front of the station wagon.

I ran over it convincingly.

I stopped the car, banned myself to the backseat, and waited for the others to come back from inspecting my handy work.

To this day, I still believe the kangaroo committed suicide.

In a Jiffy


Jiffy
definition: short period of time. (origin unknown, circa 18th century)

I know it's been used before: jiffy marker, jiffy sponge, jiffy pop popcorn.

but

What a cool name for one of those little smart cars!

-Be there in a Jiffy!

-Save money and the environment in a Jiffy!

-Drive to work in a Jiffy!

-Be at the beach in a Jiffy!

Negative Press: He died in a Jiffy.

Bad news, but at least it was in a Jiffy! Not prolonged and drawn out.


note: possible specialized markets:

Alternative Lifestyle People: Spliffy

Women: Miffy or Tiffy

Trendsetters: Spiffy or Niffy-T


double note: rejected names - Iffy, Whiffy, and Siffy