A Stabbing

No one was paying any attention, so I stabbed it.

I didn’t quite get the penetration I wanted the first time.

I lined it up and stabbed it again: metal through skin.

The little bugger never saw it coming. It didn’t have a chance.

Just sitting there innocently one minute, and then impaled the next.

It didn’t scream or wriggle. It just accepted its fate.



I don’t think I did anything wrong.

I can’t get into trouble for this.

I’m going to do it again.

I’m a repeat offender.

I love pickles!

Musical Instruments

I am woefully ignorant when it comes to playing musical instruments.

It’s like algebra all over again. I don’t get it; I probably never will.

I remember brutalizing the recorder they gave me to play at school. I was downgraded to the tambourine, then the triangle, and finally bottomed out as the wooden stick clacker person.

I love listening to music, singing badly to it, and watching live concerts. I have even worn a Ramones t-shirt prouldly at one time in my life.

My closest friend is a musician; I think what he does is mysterious and magical.

I unintentionally phase out when he starts trying to explain chords, notes, and other music related things to me: not out of disinterest, but out of confusion.

I don’t get it; probably never will.


note: if knee slapping or steering wheel tapping become popular, I’ll be able to redeem myself.

Walls and Fences

There are some pretty famous walls in the world: The Great Wall of China, The Wailing Wall, The Berlin Wall, Hadrian’s Wall, even Pink Floyd’s “The Wall”.

The wall at Kilmainham Gaol, where authorities shot members of the 1916 Uprising, in Dublin is pretty famous too! (and you can fit in a Guiness tour on the same day, if you are well organized)

There’s a wall on Isabella Island in the Galapagos Islands. It’s not globally famous, but it’s historically interesting. Built by convicts: they had to complete so many meters a day. At first it mustn’t have been too difficult; lots of stones nearby. But everyday the prisoners had to go further and further away to collect enough stones to extend the wall by the days required number of meters.

That must have been a bitch!

The wall wasn’t going anywhere special; just a project to work convicts to death.

Fences usually aren’t very famous.

It’s usually what’s inside them that is well known: Area 51 in New Mexico and a few refugee centers in Australia are the only ones I can think of. Fences in the English countryside are a little interesting; they have little steps to get over them, when you are hiking around. Don’t worry the sheep though: that’s a big no-no.

In the animal world, I think fences are more famous than walls: more infamous at least. There are probably a lot of animals, all over the world, grumbling about fences right now.

I’d wager that in the Animal World, Pink Floyd’s “Animals” album is a far better seller than “The Wall” too.

The All-ympics

Are the Olympics the biggest private club in the world, or what?

It’s suppose to be a world sporting event, but most of the world’s popular sports are excluded. By popular I mean, watched on TV or have a fanbase of more than 100 people outside of the participants.

I guess the speedwalkers and pole vaulters lobby strongly against letting in popular sports.

The Olympics should open the floodgates and let all sports compete. Let’s have a truly global sporting spectacle: X-games, darts, off-road racing, logger sports, highland games, Inuit sports, marbles, sports card scrambles, buck-buck…. everything!

Who cars how many medals are given out; or that one country wins every medal in one event because they are the only country who play that sport.

It would have to be better than it is now.

Two words: synchronized diving.

The Wrong Profile

Why does one side of your face look better in photos than the other side?
Profile shots are usually a disappointment.

Everyone has a good side; or at least a not so horrible side.

I keep forgetting which side is my good side. I don’t mind full face photos, unless there is a flash involved. For some reason photos with flashes give me an illusionary rash on my chin.

I envy people who are photogenic. In real life they look okay, but in photos they turn into supermodels.

I think I look better in real life than in photos.

I think most people feel the same way.

It’s not fair.

I bet the person who developed Photo Shop looked pretty bad in photos.