A Big Disappointment

I’m a procrastinator. I’m a disappointment.

I haven’t done any of the things my Mother said I could do when I became an adult.

- I don’t eat marshmellow sandwiches everyday.

- I don’t stay up all night watching TV.

- I haven’t gotten that Batman tattoo on my face yet.

- I’ve yet to buy the 8 million marbles I said I would.

- I never bumper shine.

- I haven’t played Tetris for 48 hours straight.

- I don’t play with firecrackers.

- I haven’t ridden a roller coaster 100 times in a row.

- I don’t fry bread in the bacon grease, like they do in England.

- I don’t walk around barefoot everyday.

- I haven’t ordered 2 desserts at a restaurant.

- I’ve yet to get a Mr. T haircut.

- I don’t have chocolate sprinkle sandwiches like the Dutch kids use to have.

- I haven’t gone to every house in a 5 km radius to fill 2 pillow cases full of candy on Halloween.

- I haven’t collected all the matchbox cars.

- I never eat a whole bag of chocolate chips.

- I still haven’t bought that H.R. Puff n’ Stuff Jacket with Witchipoo on the sleeve.

I’m a big disappointment.

Tomorrow I’ll get busy.